Over the last few days, I have been evaluating the information that I've gathered over a lifetime. I've reflected on my youth, my twenties, and my thirties. Each time looking to see if it was there. And you know what? It was. What is it that I searched for? Well, that would depend upon your perspective. But to put it mildly, it was that propensity for "evil". Now this world "evil" is all encompassing of negativity, whether it's thought or action. I found it in me. I am sure that if you look you will find it in you as well.
While evaluating this information, I came to realize that it's inside that the real battle happens. It takes place on both planes of existence, our conscious and unconscious minds. More often than not it manifests itself in our dreams, this "evil". We brush it off as bad dreams or nightmares, but it's the battle raging during our unconscious moments. Depriving us of the rest that we need and therefore weakening us before the next day's conscious battle begins.
In all honesty, I feel that my scale is relatively balanced. And I slowly try to deprive each and every negative thought the ability to see the light of consciousness. I have discovered that, at least, in my case, that once one negative thought enters my mind and entertained, it leads down a very gloomy road. Forcing me to feel all the anger and the pain that I have moved past. Makes me ache for times long past and people long gone from this earth. It's in these moments that I hunker down and prepare for a battle.
You see, I figured out that the only way to battle a thought is with a thought. Unfortunately for most, it oftentimes spills over into the "outside world", but that's another post. I like to see the world as a battlefield. It makes things easier. It helps me put things into perspective, gain allies, and recognize enemies. I know that in one moment I may be seeing someone who offers a helping hand, but sometimes help comes with "attachments" and those I don't need. So it's a skirmish to see what's what.
I've also learned that I have a vast arsenal of coping skills. I draw from any and everything to give me an edge against the "night". I wonder if other people have recognized this propensity. What do u do to cope?